Freeze

I wanted to freeze time the moment the nurse handed me my baby girl.  I wanted to freeze time when I walked down the aisle towards my husband.  I wanted to freeze time when I got into my first college.

We all want to freeze time.  We all want to live and re-live those moments in our lives that have given us the greatest joy.  We have all wanted to just freeze time.

Have you ever stopped to consider all that you would have missed if you actually could freeze time?  Had I frozen the moment I met my husband, I never would have lived our wedding.  Had I frozen the moment I first saw my daughter, I never would have seen her smile.  Had I frozen the moment I got into my first college, I never would have received the acceptance letter to the college I actually attended.  Had I ever frozen time, I would have missed out on my life.

The lesson I have learned is this:  be present in the moment.  Be aware of what you are living and enjoy each pure and simple moment as you are living it.  Then, freeze that moment in your memory and it will be frozen in time, forever.  You can go right back to that moment whenever you want and feel like you are living it for the first time.

I froze the first time my daughter smiled.  I froze the last time I hugged my mom.  I froze the first time I met my sister’s youngest.  I have frozen time.

Create Space & Let Go of What You Can’t Control

Oprah said it.  I hear it in my yoga class.  “Create space.”  I’ve thought about this a lot since I first read about it in O Magazine over the New Year.  The article talked about creating a little space in our everyday lives and suggested a lot of ways of doing so.  For example, while driving, try to leave a little extra space between you and the car in front of you.  Winters are harsh where I live, so I try to do this every time I drive.  But there is also a catch, you can create your own space, but you have to be able to let go when others don’t take the time to create their own space.  Let’s go back to the driving example, I can control how much space there is between me and the car in front of me, but I have no control over the space between me and the car behind me.

This way of thinking spills over into other parts of my life.  Another way to “create space” is by pausing or taking a short break prior to sending that heated e-mail.  How many times have you hit “send” only to instantly regret it?  And then, just like that, those words are gone and you can’t get them back.  Create a little space, walk away, come back, re-read and if you are satisfied, THEN hit send.  You will feel so much better.

I have to remember to do this with my clients.  My law practice is a volume practice, so I can’t possibly remember every client, every situation, every conversation.  I document everything thoroughly, but sometimes, you just can’t remember all the details instantly.  I have to make each client feel like he or she is the only client I tend to, while in fact, I watch over 200 cases/clients, and growing.  So, understandably, they get angry when things aren’t done according to their timeline.  Again, create space.  Maybe they just need to vent.  Maybe they just don’t understand the process despite countless hours of explaining every painstaking detail to them.  Again, let go of what you can’t control.  You can only control your reaction to the situation, not theirs.  Sometimes, absolutely nothing you say will make them feel better.  And, since we don’t have a time machine to go back in time, we can only take steps to ameliorate the situation in the present.  The past is gone.  So, create some space and let go of what you can’t control.

Create space in your heart to love, despite all the hate in the world.  Create space in your mind to learn new things.  Create space in your life to welcome new activities and friends.  Create space in your career to handle situations more gracefully and calmly.  Create space while you drive to ease some stress and road rage.  Create space.

And, let go of what you can’t control.  

What goes around, comes around?

Have you ever done something good, only to have something not so good happen shortly after? Today, I was in the far right lane when I noticed three cars behind me wanting to turn right. I moved into the left lane so they could go ahead without waiting for the light to change. Random act of kindness, right? I thought so.

Light turns green and I proceed to turn left. Next thing I hear is wild honking and a man in a red SUV flipping me the bird! I was in my proper lane and I suppose he thought I wasn’t. I was so angry, shocked, and upset! I know he was in the wrong lane making an incorrect move, but his pure road rage was the hardest part to take! So much for a random act of kindness.

It happens all the time. You wait patiently while someone crosses the parking lot only to have someone steal the space you’ve been waiting for. You let someone who is running late cut in front of you at the coffee shop, only to have them order the last caramel mocha half decaf drink.

So, is this reverse karma? Why does this happen? Are there different levels of good deeds? Or, do we tend to focus more on the negative than on the positive? Do we notice the times when we allowed that person to cut in at the coffee shop, only to have the barista  make the wrong drink which is exactly what you wanted? And, you get it for free! What about those times?

At the end of the day, we should try to focus on the positive, and shoo away the negativity as much as possible, if possible.

Sometimes, random acts of kindness are followed by some bad timing. Nothing more. So, don’t stop doing good deeds, don’t stop paying it forward. And, try to not let the small stuff bug you.

AT-TI-TUDE

My first blog post of the work week.  

Today at work I was thinking about attitude.  Positive or negative, it can REALLY influence your day, your week, your whole life.  Have you ever heard people saying to just smile when you feel down because the muscles in your face send some kind of message to your brain and you start feeling better?  Even if you haven’t, it doesn’t take much to try.  Just smile.  🙂

So, if attitude affects your day, it MUST affect your job.  Could the search for the “perfect job” involve developing a better attitude in general?  I believe it absolutely must.  

It appears to me that my quest for a perfect job/career will inevitably force me to question my attitude and to take note of those days when I feel really good.  Do I like my current job better when I do feel really good?  Maybe.  But the one thing I can tell you is that I can handle my job a lot better when I feel good.

My quest has now expanded.  It seems that to understand what job/career would suit me best, I need to understand who I am, attitude and all.  What makes me feel good?  I will start paying attention right away and taking notes.  Blogging about this tonight has made me feel much better.

A few quotes on attitude and jobs:

“There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.”

– Bennett, William John

 

“Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.”

– Berlin, Irving

 

“Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.” 

– Blandi, Tom

I LOVE THIS ONE:

“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” 

– Holtz, Lou

At-ti-tude.  Think about it.  I know I sure will.  🙂